Just wanted to wish you all a very happy candy-filled weekend! Halloween and I have a love/hate relationship. While it gives me an excuse to overindulge on candy and wear as many sparkles as I want, I hate all the spooky stuff because…
I am scared of practically everything. Little things like bugs or slipping on icy sidewalks. Big things like change or the death of loved ones but mostly imaginary things like monsters and ghosts.
Bathroom mirrors? Yeah, no thanks. I've seen too many movies to know what happens when you shut a medicine cabinet door or look away for. Just. One. Second. Creepy ghosts always like to pop out behind you in bathroom mirrors.
Puppets. Oh lord, puppets. Other than Sesame Street and perhaps Casey and Finnegan nothing ever good came from puppets. Sure you can make them talk and make them charming but what happens when you leave them on the shelf and turn out the lights?
Masks. Ick, yuck, gross. It took me a long time to be able to look at The Scream mask without feeling all the blood drain from my limbs and being rooted to the spot in fear. And, I shit you not, I once got spooked in the Halloween aisle at a Michaels craft store.
Clowns also go on the list because of a) the movie "It" and b) a clown was once an asshole to me when I was a kid and I. Will. Never. Forget.
October means once again dealing with my ongoing nemesis: scary movies. No sorry, let me rephrase that: scary movie trailers. See I wouldn't have to be scared of the movies if the trailers didn't pop out at me during commercial breaks. There's a certain movie franchise that has terrorized me for at least 7 years now. One that we're not allowed to even mention in our house and one that just thinking about causes my flee reflexes to heighten. It once had my darling Westley in it – hooray! I haven't seen him in a while, I hope that he gets the girl and saves the da-----WHHHHHHHHHHHHHAATT???? Why is he all chained up and who invited that puppet? It's not the blood, the guts nor the horrific and outrageously implausible way the people die – it's the puppet that scares me the most.
Luckily on November 1st the Christmas music and decorations start exploding out on the scene (I have seen them spilling out here and there already) so I only have to endure being spooked for another few days. Most likely the reason that I have such a runaway imagination and heightened suspension of disbelief is that otherwise my life is so uncomplicated and stress free that I have time to over think things like huge hairy spiders walking over my face or the boogeyman in my closet…oh great, now I'm thinking about Mr. Boogedy! Damn you Disney!!
Hello Tauren cowers in fear…and eats some candy.